What is gender-neutral language? How to use it and why do we need it?
To simply put it, gender-neutral or gender-inclusive language is a way of talking about people without assuming their preferred gender or fitting them into the categories of “male” or “female”. For those who do not fall into either of the two categories, this constant binary male or binary female grouping reference may be perplexing.
Non-binary people have to go through the disrespect of being misgendered every day. Gender-inclusive language, which is not taught in schools nor used in everyday life actively, alienates those who choose to identify as neither “male” nor “female.” It is not just ignorant, but also disparaging to the LGBTQIA+ communities. Not using someone’s preferred pronouns has the same level of disrespect as calling someone “Alex” when they have corrected you repeatedly that they are called “Alice” not “Alex”.
Here are some tips on how to effectively use gender-neutral language in your daily interactions:
Instead of “He” or “She,” use “They”
It’s wrong to assume someone’s pronouns by their physical appearance. Asking and correctly using someone’s pronouns is a way to show the bare minimum respect for their gender identity. “They/them” is used in the singular to refer to people who do not identify as either male or female. Other pronouns that people adopt are “zie”, “sie”, and “xe”. Be sure to ask others about their pronouns before making an assumption.
Substituting “Mr,” or “Miss” with the honorific “Mx”
We frequently struggle to identify someone’s gender when we are composing emails or official documents. This is when “Mx” comes into play. When a person’s gender is unknown, they do not self-identify as belonging to a certain gender, or they just don’t wish to be recognised by their gender, the honorific “Mx” is used. The term, pronounced “mix,” offers people an alternative to being labelled based on their gender and can be actively used while writing emails.
Using gender-neutral terms
The use of the pronouns “they” and “them” alone does not constitute gender-neutral language. For instance, using “everyone” or “everybody” as a greeting instead of “ladies and gentlemen” ensures the inclusion of everyone and not just two cisgenders. When referring to romantic relationships, gender-neutral terms like partner and spouse can be used instead of brother, father, or son. Other examples of gender-neutral relationships include sibling, parent, and child.
Similarly, using “humankind” instead of “mankind” and “average person” rather than “common man” are other examples of effective gender-neutral communication.
Gender-neutral alternatives for occupational terms
We grew up learning gendered terms when talking about occupations, but as society evolves, so does the language with it. In order to keep up with the ever-evolving lexicon, we need to have a flexible perspective. Using “Chairperson” instead of “Chairman”, and “Servers” instead of “Waitress” helps us lead away from a gender-biased point of view. A few other examples of gender-neutral occupations would be:
It might feel a bit unusual to use gender-neutral language when you are starting out, but you have to keep at it to ensure that it becomes a part of your everyday communication. You will make mistakes, and that is OKAY as long as you acknowledge and rectify them. Incorporating gender-neutral language is a learning experience. Be open to feedback from those around you. Some people might feel more comfortable when you use a certain language while talking about them or talking to them.
Do not limit using gender-neutral language to only in front of people who are non-binary. Using gendered language in the absence of a nonbinary person is NOT okay. Sometimes non-binary people still identify as male or female, and many people aren’t as vocal about their identity and pronouns as others, so it’s wrong to assume a person’s gender through their physical appearance. So, unless a person explicitly mentions that they use binary terms to describe themselves, we should always use non-gendered language.
Don’t be afraid to hold those around you accountable for using exclusive, gendered language. Explaining to them what gender-neutral language is and why it is important works a long way in making everyone feel acknowledged and respected.
