Why is it so difficult to end an abusive relationship?

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“At any given moment you have the power to say this is not how the story is going to end” ~ Christine Mason Miller.

Love, highlighted as the most beautiful feeling in the world, sometimes welcomes a lack of boundaries and a will to say ‘no’. Every individual with their uniqueness finds a partner with whom they can share this feeling of love and their definition of love is always distinctive to them. 

As love is not just related to the modern-day scenario, hearing about the experiences people had with love gave it a different meaning. Some said sacrifice, peace, insane, free, empathy, and support, and yes it is special, doing things for and with our loved ones makes everything special. 

Can one imagine how such a special and beautiful feeling can turn into a nightmare, how trust can be shattered, and expectations can be broken, and what ruins this extraordinary bond between two individuals? As these questions arise, they make the world curious about how 50-80% of relationships end. 

abusive relationship

Regarding love as the most splendid feeling and breakups as – the term used to describe the end of any romantic relationship between two individuals. Why is it so painful in some situations to leave these? 

Reasons can range from lack of communication between the partners to abusive behavior of one of the individuals which are regarded as the ugliest form of venting out especially in relationships using this form can sometimes lead to an ugly breakup or one partner constantly suffering because of other’s behavior. 

Taking a statistical example of cases of abuse where more than 1 in 3 women (35.6%) and more than 1 in 4 men (28.5%) experiences rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their life (source) Talking about India 27.5% women were likely to complain against physical violence, where the abuser in most cases was seen as males. 

As Patriarchy highlights masculinity many Indian cases of emotional and physical abuse after marriage are swept under the rug by both sides of the family. As the abuse is divided into different types. One is emotional abuse which consists of humiliation, manipulative behavior, and verbal aggression Second, Physical abuse includes kicking, slapping, punching, shoving, and choking also sexual abuse which includes non-censual sexual contact. 

In India, abuse seems to be a bigger issue. According to a national family and health survey in 2005, domestic violence cases are 33.5% in India whereas cases which were registered against this were just 16%. The ratio of men and women being an abuser holds men higher in position and the one who is abused in most cases is just the woman. 

Once an abuser always an abuser; the love relationship in most cases doesn’t end after an abusive act when the abused pushes the fact that they need to leave the abuser they instead give a reason to why the person abused maybe they were angry, upset and they will apologize or they don’t mean it as they love me. 

In love, marriage and family abuse is always a hazardous animal that can kill the inner self of people sometimes. To come out of the abuse is surely a transformation but the first thing is to spread information about what should be welcomed and what should be not, after awareness a strong will is required to end the relationship when it is going in the direction of abuse or ask for help. 

To love and respect yourself should always be on one’s priority list at the primary position, and knowing oneself and boundaries may solve many issues.

Read More: World Suicide Prevention Day 2022: a day for awareness, precautions, and prevention

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Vrinda Sharma
Vrinda Sharma
I am Vrinda Sharma, ( she/her) Sociology student | Author | Public speaker

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