“Divorce isn’t such a tragedy. A tragedy’s staying in an unhappy marriage, and teaching your children the wrong things about love. Nobody ever died of divorce.”
~ Jennifer Weiner
source: Hindustan times
Marriage, one of the social institutions every Indian is a part of or is preparing to be a part of, is something that is considered a necessary part of life.
Marriage according to Indians is most safe when arranged by parents, relatives, or someone who knows the process of matchmaking takes place where marriages are fixed by the horoscopes of both men and women.
From childhood, both men and women are conditioned that one day they are going to get married to someone special and with whom they are going to get settled for life.
As movies or web series displayed marriage as the most beautiful event of an individual’s life people started imitating more of what the media was showing them about marriage than what marriage exactly was.
Even now the chandeliers and the taste of food is what matters in marriage as an event but not the compatibility of the male and the female who are getting married.
As stated above marriage is fixed in most cases by the parents and relatives in Indian society, which includes 2-hour meetings where both the male and female are expected to know each other.
A few months or maybe a year is given to both the individuals and the families to know each other properly during which the expenses of marriage are also discussed.
As India has a patriarchal society which explains that the father of the to-be bride has to marry her daughter off into her to-be husband’s house.
As the girl leaves her father’s house to be in her husband’s house a very ancient ritual known as dowry is practiced where dowry displays the freedom of the girl in all the objects that her father gave, which are now also termed as ‘gifts’.
In all the processes where marriage happens no one is still aware of the compatibility of the interests which are shared between both the individuals who are going to get married soon.
Even according to Indian culture boys and girls are not even allowed to meet some months prior to the wedding for any kind of interaction.
Most of the time when both individuals are alien to each other as a whole. time for both individuals to realize what the other person is like but sometimes this terms out to be really upside down.
And a lot of marriages in India get disturbed by this process of arranged marriage where both the individuals were not aware of each other and later phased consequences of choosing the wrong partner for their lives.
This does not mean that love marriages have a higher success rate than arranged marriages that are taking place in India.
but in both cases when a marriage phase in India the chances of divorce are very less even when marital rape and physical and mental abuse is happening from one individual to another.
Stigmas around Divorce
A Lot of stigmas are attached to divorce or ending marriages and the only visible reason is always the fear of society in most cases it is also about the child if both of them have one.
A recent study shows that India has the lowest rate of divorce in the world stating only 13 out of 1,000 marriages in India end their marriages into divorce.
(source: https://www.dailyo.in )
Thinking about the consequences which disturb even the child and both the individuals who are in an unhealthy relationship or in a view of marriage are uncountable.
There are different ways to save the marriage but if the situation states the sign to leave the marriage it is okay.
Normalizing divorce should be considered a basic thing in our society, as this reflects clear boundaries of individuals without harming individuals who were before in a relationship but as the marriage didn’t work out, it should never be a marriage.
Divorce should be welcomed as marriage exists, suffering marriages are even spoiling innocent children who are often suppressed by huge clusters of unhealthy expressions by parents.